Okay, so I thought I was done but it seems that I have this overwhelming desire to release more old relationship toxins. My future spouse has been extremely kind at helping me work through the latest dramas. I still feel as though I need to get the last bit of it out in this format.

Both of my pets are “its” . From them I fully expect to have gauged and perhaps even androgynous reactions to what troubles them. My female is much more the alpha than the male, to whom I affectionately refer as the “Nutless Wonder”. It appears that even my neutered male still has more balls than my coward of an ex.

Let me put this out there. If someday in the future, for whatever reason, you feel that you need to change your relationship with an ex, or even a friend – have the balls to speak to that person. Over the phone or in person – it doesn’t matter. I have had it with one-sided, unaccountable, cowardly people who cannot seem to pick up the phone to tell me how they feel.

I really believe that I am not a scary person. In fact, I have been told that I am even too nice! However, a certain formerly significant male from my past could not bring himself to return phone calls or emails with any dignity. Alas, my only reward for spending the last two years walking on eggshells around this person is a Nastygram. Although not the nastiest piece of literature I’ve ever encountered, or had directed at me personally, the implied nastiness was received loud and clear.

I received said piece of email well over a month ago. I have pondered and posited long enough. I have come to the realization that, as in my relationship with this person, I am ever disposable and inconvenient. Yes, for the length of my relationship it was proven to me over and over that I was only to be rewarded with any form attention when it was convenient for the other party. The countless broken dates and evenings spent by my lonesome escaped his radar, never to be recalled or accounted for.

Enough, I say! Enough of being the bad person from the time our relationship ended. I will not have it any longer. I am a person, I am truly loved by someone who deserves me (and I him) and I still have my dignity.

The email, by the way, went unanswered. This Nutless Wonder does not feel that I can be a part of his life any longer – so be it. Why should I grovel at the feet of someone I ended a relationship with? I had already spent half a dozen years groveling at those very same feet and did not feel I needed to do so any longer. Was this his way of trying to entice one last bout of friendly subservience? Too bad. This fish isn’t biting.

Well folks, the padding is melting under all of this heat. The lack of activity on my scale is rather alarming, however it is counterbalanced by loose-fitting clothes and one hell of a great fitting wedding dress! If there was ever anything to help me lose weight, it’s the crushing heat we’ve had this summer. Nothing like writing about the weather but truthfully, we’ve been rendered a savage beating by Mother Nature this year. Ah, if that wasn’t enough, I’m about to leave for my tropical beach wedding. Hello beach, goodbye appetite!

The only thing weighing more heavily on me than the air is the staggering amount of work I have left to do in the next two days. Minor detail! I will get it done and I will survive another fabulous work crunch.

Wow, the Gods really are smiling upon me today. My computer just crashed and the draft of this post was miraculously saved! Better not push my luck…back to work!

Spring is being completely obtuse in my neck of the woods. All I want to do is run. Run outside with the wind in my hair and dry ground beneath my runners. Of course, Spring has other plans.

Yesterday was the most glorious day. Went for a long walk and basked in the sun all the while. Today? Grey, gloomy and rainy with a 100% chance of snow overnight (at least 10cm/3″ of it). I’m a big skier and all, but there is plenty of snow still in the mountains where it belongs! We don’t need anymore in the city. I was even getting so excited about open-toed shoes on Saturday that I started primping my tootsies, only to shove them unceremoniously into thick socks this morning.

With my impending nuptuals less than six months away, I have some serious running and weights to do. I have been staying relatively on-track with my clean eating and have managed to lose a few inches. Since “the dress” came home, I steeled my resolve to not be the blushing butterball on my special day. However, my love for chocolate cake did prevail yesterday and I enjoyed a gorgeous piece on my non-cheat day.

My attempt at using the fitness room at work today in lieu of being outside was pitiful. I lasted about 15 minutes in the dust-infested, non-ventilated, cramped room in the basement of my office. That dust-hole is too unbearable right now, so unless they send the cleaners in there I think I’ll have to scrap that plan. The best part was the fumes while someone was moving palettes with the forklift. Fan-*!@#&%*-tastic. Not to mention that I’m not sure when the shower room was last swept. Even better. Really, it’s not that I don’t have any other means of doing cardio. It simply would have been so convenient to workout at lunch.  Oh well – I tried. Time for a piece of cake…

I just about lost my mind on Friday. Since I was having a not-so-stellar week to begin with, the way Friday went was almost unbearable. I must admit that I did have the pleasure of meeting some really enlightened folks….perhaps I appreciate them a little more because of the severe contrast.

First off, I can’t stand self-righteous I-am-better-than-you types who seem to believe that the whole world should be filled with clones…of themselves, of course. Quite frankly, there is one jackass in particular (oh, yes, there is more than one in my midst) I’ve nearly had it with. I am usually diplomatic and able to brush certain things off. Not this time. Let’s just say that I’m ready to speak my mind because it’s interfering with my daily activities.

Second, being short-staffed does not entitle ANYONE to be rude and uncooperative. A friend of mine had a new one ripped for him for no reason other than the dirty, rotten b-hatch was short-staffed and had her knickers in a twist. Bad form, I say. Perhaps “going commando” for a day would solve the issue with her skivvies. There is no cure for b-hatching other than beheadding…and a really big shot of good Tequila.

The whole entitlement thing is really what’s getting me down. Some folks just don’t get the fact that acting like a big shot does not make you one. It takes a whole lot more and the real big shots usually fly under the radar. As for me, I’m just a girl trying to get through some serious stress without going SuperNova.

I belong to the most wonderful charitable organization (WCO) on this planet (which shall remain nameless). I’ll sum it up to say that a large percentage of the clubs that belong to the WCO are run by…you guessed it…men. This is not going to be an “all men are scum and are not worth their skin” discussion. This is about the way men choose to use their brains.

Since this WCO is worldwide and there are people from all walks of life who belong, you would think that there would be a bunch of savy people running the show. NOT TRUE! I, thankfully, belong to one of the more open-minded groups that supports women in the membership and understands the need for representation at the upper levels. There are other groups who, sadly are still allowed to continue as if they were in the dark ages.

This behavior has not gone unnoticed. From what I hear, some groups who discourage and turn away women have promptly had their pee-pees slapped for not having any women on the roster. Read this as me commending the “Big Brother” of this WCO for correcting this behavior. But, even Buckley’s has a temporary effect on a bad cough. It is still going on! Some folks in this volunteer base believe that only retired geriatrics have the sense and time to commit fully to a group that requires commitment nothing short of vocation. How wrong they are! Case and point to follow:

As I embarked on a new gainfully employed adventure, I made it clear that I would need flexibility in my work schedule to accomodate my volunteer activities. This company does allow its employees this type of flexibility and my schedule already works to my advantage. I have large blocks of time away from work that fall in nicely with my meetings and activities. I assure you that I am neither retired nor geriatric. I simply have a giving spirit and a dedication to improving our global community. Show people the way to volunteer and I assure you, they will make the time.

Now folks, I’m not talking community service, here. I’m talking about 85% fun activities and 15% onerous tasks for the average member. These folks raise an unbelievable amount of money locally and it gets distributed globally. Who doesn’t want to help save part of the world? (If you just answered “I don’t”, it’s time for you to leave and go crawl back under your nice, cold rock.) So I ask, why should the men have all the fun and glory?

There appears to be a movement amongst the women of this WCO. Hopefully it will prompt some of the closed-minded geriatric men into having a cerebral bowel movement. In other words, “Hey old guy!! Clean the crap out of your ears and listen to the skirts!” We are all civilized and no one is threatening to become militant about the treatment of women at the WCO. The sexist “you birth babies, therefore you are unable to do what should be left to the men folk” attitude must be changed. C-h-a-n-g-e…look it up.