Well folks, the padding is melting under all of this heat. The lack of activity on my scale is rather alarming, however it is counterbalanced by loose-fitting clothes and one hell of a great fitting wedding dress! If there was ever anything to help me lose weight, it’s the crushing heat we’ve had this summer. Nothing like writing about the weather but truthfully, we’ve been rendered a savage beating by Mother Nature this year. Ah, if that wasn’t enough, I’m about to leave for my tropical beach wedding. Hello beach, goodbye appetite!

The only thing weighing more heavily on me than the air is the staggering amount of work I have left to do in the next two days. Minor detail! I will get it done and I will survive another fabulous work crunch.

Wow, the Gods really are smiling upon me today. My computer just crashed and the draft of this post was miraculously saved! Better not push my luck…back to work!

No, I’m not talking about padded bras or shoulder pads. I’m talking about the fat padding my ass, my stomach and my life. A few years ago I began a journey to find my “happy”. In the process, I quit my job, got divorced and moved to a different city. Like the moving blankets that protected my belongings in the moving truck, the padding I carried around prevented further bruising of my spirit. It also prevented my spirit from being lifted out of the sadness and feelings of being left behind by people who I once thought were my friends.

Lucky for me, it was in the cards that I also met Mr. Wonderful. I understand that few are as lucky as I am to have been blessed with another opportunity to share my life with someone special. I was driving along the other day when I made a very important connection. I had unpacked a lot of stuff and cleaned house, but I hadn’t unpacked myself. I still had my padding, just in case someone or something should come along and try to scratch my finish. Who knows why I’ve kept it around for this long, but until I acknowledged why it was still there, it wasn’t going anywhere.

All of my wanting to lose weight and become the slinky, sexy goddess I remember from years ago would be pointless. Pointless, that is, until I had the strength to reach in, deep down in my soul and give myself permission to let it go. I realized that I didn’t need, didn’t want to be padded from my life anymore. Why would I want to have anything separating me from the man I love? That’s when I decided…no more padding.

There is a difference between saying you want to lose the weight and understanding why it is still there. I am speaking only for myself here. I know that many people struggle with physiological barriers to weight loss, but for most it is another emotional burden that hasn’t been released. Let’s relate it to self-defense. It’s only natural to protect oneself from harm, but what if the danger is gone and you are still on the lookout for an attack? Paranoid much? That is what I am talking about. Acknowledging that I am out of danger and it is time to come out of the bunker and start living.

No more padding.

Although you may not have been able to tell, the Filter has not died. It has just been sifting through a pile of work. Funny how you start to feel like there is no end to the things you don’t like and not enough time for the things you love. That’s how I’ve been feeling for the last couple of months. A solution has presented (more like manifested) itself. How? I just kept putting it out there.

I believe that your intentions, once released into the universe, have to go somewhere and eventually be answered or accounted for. Sometimes the answer is “No, dumb-ass, you’re just not there yet”. Other times, like last week for example, the answer was “You need to revisit what you just left because your work there isn’t done yet” or something like that. How so? Stay tuned…

Not Your Average Turkey Salad

“Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat”…but I’m not planning getting fat! ‘Tis the season of cookies and cakes, eggnog and
overindulgence. I love my Christmas treats as much as the next gal, but this year I am on a mission: to stay on track with my fitness goals and not gain a pound over the holidays. Not only is there strength in putting pen to paper (or in this case, finger to keyboard) to express my vision of a happy, svelte me in the New Year, but I have secret weapons in my armada that make me feel good about myself and satisfied at the same time. These snacks will leave your guests feeling guilty, but you’ll know the truth. Can it be true? Is there more wisdom contained in the annals of the Filter? By golly, yes!

**Disclaimer and Warning: The following recipes may contain nuts. If you, your kid, your brother, sister, parent, dog, mother’s-cousin’s-aunt’s-daughter’s parakeet is allergic to nuts…OMIT them! The Faulty Filter will not be held responsible for you stupidly feeding your loved-ones substances that may be toxic to them! (Read: Don’t put nuts in the food, dumbass.)***

1 can reduced-salt turkey flakes, drained (or the real stuff after the holidays)
1 stalk celery, finely chopped
1 dill pickle, finely chopped
Dried cranberries (not those “Craisin” things as they have added sugar)
Slivered almonds or sliced filberts (hazelnuts, to you culinary neophytes)
Ultra Low-fat Miracle Whip
Celery salt
Poultry Seasoning (Contains Marjoram, Savory, Thyme and Black Pepper)
Fresh ground pepper (Yes, you do need this. Even though the PS contains pepper, the freshly ground stuff adds a different taste altogether.)
Whole Wheat or Multigrain Pita Bread

Mix ingredients to desired consistency and flavor. To me, it tastes like good ol’ turkey stuffing when it’s all done. This is great in a pita, for canape stuffing, on a salad or on it’s own. How good is it? Suffice it to say that it left my co-worker salivating…

Terrific Tuna Melts

1 can tuna
1 stalk celery, finely chopped
1 dill pickle, finely chopped
Ultra Low-fat Miracle Whip
Prepared Horseradish
Celery salt
Dill
Fresh ground pepper
Sharp cheese, thin slices or grated (suggestions: Parmesan, Monterey Jack, Emmenthal, Gruyere or Aged White Cheddar)
Whole Wheat or Multigrain Pita Bread

Mix ingredients to desired consistency and flavor. Spread mixture on the pita and cover evenly with the cheese. Place in a toaster or regular oven until cheese melts and finish under the broiler to brown the cheese. You’ll know it’s ready when the cheese is bubbly in the middle.

My favorite combo is Emmenthal and Gruyere together. If these don’t appeal to you, just pick your favorite strong cheese. The secret here is that you use less of a more pungent cheese than a mild cheese to achieve the same flavor. This too is great stuffed on the inside of a pita served cold. This can also become canape stuffing, a salad topping, or on it’s own.

Super Fast Spinach Dip

1 package frozen chopped spinach, thawed in cold water and drained
1 cup Ultra Low-Fat Miracle Whip
1 cup Fat-Free Sour Cream
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 can sliced water chestnuts, drained and finely chopped
1 envelope Knorr Vegetable Soup Mix
1 Round Sourdough Bread Loaf, top cut off and loaf hollowed. Reserve bread for dipping.
Fresh ground pepper

Mix ingredients together and put in the hollowed loaf. Serve with the bread removed from the loaf and other crackers or pita bread. This is the fastest thing to make, but does taste better if it can be refrigerated overnight prior to serving. If you have the time, to make it the day before, put the dip in a plastic container until it is time to serve. This will save your bread from getting soggy. This is also great for canape stuffing, a salad topping, or on it’s own.

Note the theme here: these three have multiple uses and can be prepared ahead of time. Spend one hour making these beauties and have lunches for the whole week! This recipe is courtesy of a super gal who is now a super-mom!

Last, but not least….. a little sweet to finish it off. This is the best fudge I have ever had, but remember: a little piece goes a long way. I cannot claim any credit for this recipe – it is a classic Eagle Brand Magic Milk recipe. My only contribution is using the low-fat Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk, which does add some social redeeming value to the fudge, but it is still fudge.

Magic French Fudge

3 cups semi sweet chocolate chips
1 can Low-Fat Eagle Brand condensed milk
Dash salt (1/8 tsp. – 1/4 tsp.)
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. chopped nuts

In the top of a double boiler, melt chocolate chips over boiling water, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat. Stir in Eagle Brand milk, salt, vanilla and nuts. Spread mixture evenly onto waxed paper lined 8″x 8″ pan. Chill 2 hours or until firm. Turn fudge onto cutting board, peel off paper and cut into squares. Store in an air tight container.

Whatever you end up doing to this recipe, do not omit the salt! Fudge without salt is like pizza without cheese. The small amount of salt used is essential to balancing the sweetness of the chocolate and sweetened condensed milk. Trust me, it will not make you grow cankles overnight, or wake up looking like the Goodyear Blimp. As a suggestion for portion-control, use a larger, rectangular pan and spread the fudge in a thin layer on the waxed paper. After the fudge has set, cut it into rectangles, then again on the diagonal to make triangles or points. The best tool for this job is a sharp, non-serrated knife (like a chef’s knife). This makes a nice embellishment to other fancy deserts, or served with a cup of your favorite coffee.

I have finally started my novel. Yes, yes…I know – I’m only a week late! Oh well. Trying is the exercise, is it not? I am feeling happy that I’ve got the first couple of paragraphs out. However, I do feel the age of my character coming on. She’s extremely old and tired and just wants to chat. She’s a great gal though, so it’ll be fun to hang out with her for the month.

I have so much admiration for those also participating in NaBloPoMo. There is no way that I could have posted anything in the last week. My mind has been fixed on other enterprises. Kudos to you, super-bloggers!

I just about lost my mind on Friday. Since I was having a not-so-stellar week to begin with, the way Friday went was almost unbearable. I must admit that I did have the pleasure of meeting some really enlightened folks….perhaps I appreciate them a little more because of the severe contrast.

First off, I can’t stand self-righteous I-am-better-than-you types who seem to believe that the whole world should be filled with clones…of themselves, of course. Quite frankly, there is one jackass in particular (oh, yes, there is more than one in my midst) I’ve nearly had it with. I am usually diplomatic and able to brush certain things off. Not this time. Let’s just say that I’m ready to speak my mind because it’s interfering with my daily activities.

Second, being short-staffed does not entitle ANYONE to be rude and uncooperative. A friend of mine had a new one ripped for him for no reason other than the dirty, rotten b-hatch was short-staffed and had her knickers in a twist. Bad form, I say. Perhaps “going commando” for a day would solve the issue with her skivvies. There is no cure for b-hatching other than beheadding…and a really big shot of good Tequila.

The whole entitlement thing is really what’s getting me down. Some folks just don’t get the fact that acting like a big shot does not make you one. It takes a whole lot more and the real big shots usually fly under the radar. As for me, I’m just a girl trying to get through some serious stress without going SuperNova.

I know it’s early to be talking about shopping for the holidays. However, there is a good reason for it. There’s a great group of people in India who are handcrafting all sorts of nicey-nice things to give as gifts. Visit the Village Artisan website and read about their people and their story. A fried of mine spent nearly a year out of her life living with these folks and working hard alongside them. You don’t need to adopt anyone, or give up your first-born. Just buy some aromatherapy candles or some soap. Maybe their handcrafted coton paper will fit the bill. You know you’ll be buying something like that at some point over the holidays – why not do it and make a difference at the same time?

If you’re interested in purchasing anything, leave a comment. If you get in contact with them personally, let me know so I can pass the good news along to my friend. Remember, timing is everything – these products are coming from India!

Ever had that “stop the world – I want to get off!!” feeling? That’s where I’m at right now. Am I dealing with catastrophes of epic proportions? No. Am I ending world hunger? Am I curing horrible diseases? Fighting crime? No, no and no. I am an average girl with a more than average amount of work and activities on her plate.

I feel that all of the social and professional aspects of my life are about to collide tomorrow. What has triggered this feeling? Nothing more than an invitation to dinner with friends. Why is this such a big deal? It’s a big deal because I know I should be taking care of other things tomorrow when I get home from work. We’re about to go out of town for a marathon…my first marathon that I’ve been training for months to get to. Also, I still have an exceptional amount of work to do outside of my full-time job.

My ever-lovin’ man knows how much work I have to do and always runs plans by me before committing to anything. That’s not the problem. The real issue is that I feel like I’m always saying ‘no’ to doing fun stuff. He knew there would be times where my consulting would have to be the primary activity. I am the real problem here. I just hate saying no to him! Half the time I end up with a wishy-washy ‘maybe’. Now, how fair is that to all concerned? Not very. So, once again, I try to put my head down and get to work.

As a side note, I feel that my blogging is unclogging my filter to the point where I am almost feeling productive. That’s not to say that the filter is clean – far from it. Let’s just say that it is functional. I am able to organize my thoughts and get down to writing now.