Well folks, the padding is melting under all of this heat. The lack of activity on my scale is rather alarming, however it is counterbalanced by loose-fitting clothes and one hell of a great fitting wedding dress! If there was ever anything to help me lose weight, it’s the crushing heat we’ve had this summer. Nothing like writing about the weather but truthfully, we’ve been rendered a savage beating by Mother Nature this year. Ah, if that wasn’t enough, I’m about to leave for my tropical beach wedding. Hello beach, goodbye appetite!

The only thing weighing more heavily on me than the air is the staggering amount of work I have left to do in the next two days. Minor detail! I will get it done and I will survive another fabulous work crunch.

Wow, the Gods really are smiling upon me today. My computer just crashed and the draft of this post was miraculously saved! Better not push my luck…back to work!

No, I’m not talking about padded bras or shoulder pads. I’m talking about the fat padding my ass, my stomach and my life. A few years ago I began a journey to find my “happy”. In the process, I quit my job, got divorced and moved to a different city. Like the moving blankets that protected my belongings in the moving truck, the padding I carried around prevented further bruising of my spirit. It also prevented my spirit from being lifted out of the sadness and feelings of being left behind by people who I once thought were my friends.

Lucky for me, it was in the cards that I also met Mr. Wonderful. I understand that few are as lucky as I am to have been blessed with another opportunity to share my life with someone special. I was driving along the other day when I made a very important connection. I had unpacked a lot of stuff and cleaned house, but I hadn’t unpacked myself. I still had my padding, just in case someone or something should come along and try to scratch my finish. Who knows why I’ve kept it around for this long, but until I acknowledged why it was still there, it wasn’t going anywhere.

All of my wanting to lose weight and become the slinky, sexy goddess I remember from years ago would be pointless. Pointless, that is, until I had the strength to reach in, deep down in my soul and give myself permission to let it go. I realized that I didn’t need, didn’t want to be padded from my life anymore. Why would I want to have anything separating me from the man I love? That’s when I decided…no more padding.

There is a difference between saying you want to lose the weight and understanding why it is still there. I am speaking only for myself here. I know that many people struggle with physiological barriers to weight loss, but for most it is another emotional burden that hasn’t been released. Let’s relate it to self-defense. It’s only natural to protect oneself from harm, but what if the danger is gone and you are still on the lookout for an attack? Paranoid much? That is what I am talking about. Acknowledging that I am out of danger and it is time to come out of the bunker and start living.

No more padding.

Although you may not have been able to tell, the Filter has not died. It has just been sifting through a pile of work. Funny how you start to feel like there is no end to the things you don’t like and not enough time for the things you love. That’s how I’ve been feeling for the last couple of months. A solution has presented (more like manifested) itself. How? I just kept putting it out there.

I believe that your intentions, once released into the universe, have to go somewhere and eventually be answered or accounted for. Sometimes the answer is “No, dumb-ass, you’re just not there yet”. Other times, like last week for example, the answer was “You need to revisit what you just left because your work there isn’t done yet” or something like that. How so? Stay tuned…