I just about lost my mind on Friday. Since I was having a not-so-stellar week to begin with, the way Friday went was almost unbearable. I must admit that I did have the pleasure of meeting some really enlightened folks….perhaps I appreciate them a little more because of the severe contrast.

First off, I can’t stand self-righteous I-am-better-than-you types who seem to believe that the whole world should be filled with clones…of themselves, of course. Quite frankly, there is one jackass in particular (oh, yes, there is more than one in my midst) I’ve nearly had it with. I am usually diplomatic and able to brush certain things off. Not this time. Let’s just say that I’m ready to speak my mind because it’s interfering with my daily activities.

Second, being short-staffed does not entitle ANYONE to be rude and uncooperative. A friend of mine had a new one ripped for him for no reason other than the dirty, rotten b-hatch was short-staffed and had her knickers in a twist. Bad form, I say. Perhaps “going commando” for a day would solve the issue with her skivvies. There is no cure for b-hatching other than beheadding…and a really big shot of good Tequila.

The whole entitlement thing is really what’s getting me down. Some folks just don’t get the fact that acting like a big shot does not make you one. It takes a whole lot more and the real big shots usually fly under the radar. As for me, I’m just a girl trying to get through some serious stress without going SuperNova.

I know it’s early to be talking about shopping for the holidays. However, there is a good reason for it. There’s a great group of people in India who are handcrafting all sorts of nicey-nice things to give as gifts. Visit the Village Artisan website and read about their people and their story. A fried of mine spent nearly a year out of her life living with these folks and working hard alongside them. You don’t need to adopt anyone, or give up your first-born. Just buy some aromatherapy candles or some soap. Maybe their handcrafted coton paper will fit the bill. You know you’ll be buying something like that at some point over the holidays – why not do it and make a difference at the same time?

If you’re interested in purchasing anything, leave a comment. If you get in contact with them personally, let me know so I can pass the good news along to my friend. Remember, timing is everything – these products are coming from India!

1. Avocado Power!

Having a hard time finding snacks that are both interesting and healthy? I run into that one all the time. So, I’ve decided to compile a list of my favorite snackages that come in interesting packages…or no package at all!

Okay, let’s start with the subject of FFT…Part 2; our bumpy little green friend the avocado. While most people equate avocados with guacamole and end it there, I offer you a few easy, low-prep alternatives. If you don’t know the simplest way to navigate to the yummy parts (flesh) of the avo, read on for a couple of quick tips.

Avocado Preparation Tips

* Have a sharp knife and a spoon on hand before you start.

* Cut the avo from the tip to the bottom and back around to the tip. Chef’s knives are brilliant for this because the blade will get all the way down to the large seed in the middle.

* Twist each half in opposite directions and they will separate. To remove the seed, either pry it out with the spoon, or give it a good whack with the chef’s knife and twist it out. (PLEASE be careful when handling any sharp kitchen tools!)

Now that you’ve got two beautiful halves, what next? If you wish to slice up the avo, I suggest you first run your spoon along the inside of the skin to loosen the flesh and remove it from its shell. That yields the most aesthetically pleasing result, particularly if you are using your avo as a pretty garnish. Once sliced up, try your avo on some toast or pita bread. I find this just as satisfying as cream cheese.

If you’re just feeling the need to eat something green, use the cavity left by the seed as a built in sauce dish and pour some soy sauce in, grab your spoon and have at ‘er! If soy is not your thing, try lemon juice, worchestershire sauce, salsa or whatever tickles your tastebuds.

Guacamole is always best when it’s made fresh, so if you’ve only ever bought it at your favorite grocery store, you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to make. If you’ve never had the pleasure of eating guacamole before, you are in for a treat! (**Please note that no self-respecting guac contains yogurt or sour cream!! This is sacrilege punishable by death.**)

Start with the basic ingredients:

1 ripe avocado
Ground cumin
Salt
Lemon or lime juice
1 or 2 cloves fresh garlic

Start by mashing the avocado with a fork, press the garlic into the same bowl (I’d start with one clove) and mix together. Add small amounts of cumin and juice to the mix and adjust seasoning to taste (if you are not sure how much to start with, 1 tbsp juice and 1 tsp cumin should be a safe start). Add a little salt at the end and voila! All ready to scoop with some of those yummy baked tortilla chips (see below for my picks on baked chippy things).

If you’re feeling adventurous, try adding some freshly chopped tomato, jalapenos, onions or cayenne pepper. Start with small quantities and remember that the flavor will intensify if it is stored before being eaten. You can always add more, but it is nearly impossible to remove too much spice, short of adding another avo.

Storing Mr. Avo

Your new-found green friend does not like to be exposed to air for very long. The best way to stop your avo from turning brown is to cover the surface with plastic wrap. Yep, press the plastic lightly to remove small airspaces from the surface of the avo/dip that you wish to refrigerate. Guac seems to enjoy having the seed put in the bottom of the bowl as well to help preserve it. Although lemon/lime juice will help to keep it fresh, the plastic wrap works best to stop it turning brown.

2. Hummuna Hummuna Hummus

This is the chickpea/garbanzo bean at its finest. If you are not familiar with this tasty dip, it is simple to make and is very satisfying. Nutritionally, it is a great balance of carbohydrate and protein with some fat. How much fat is really up to you. You may choose to forego the olive oil, but it does add another layer of flavor to this savory dip. I’m not going to include a formal recipe because I find it is a matter of personal taste. Start with the basic ingredients and go from there. Food processor or Braun hand mixers are indispensible for making a smooth, creamy-textured dip.)

1 can Chickpeas (Garbanzo beans)
Water
Olive oil
Garlic
Tahini (sesame paste)
Salt and pepper
Lemon juice

The intensity of each flavor is really up to you. I personally like a lot of tahini in my hummus, but not so much as to make the dip bitter. Striking a good balance between the ingredients will result in a flavorful hummus that is not runny and has smooth texture to it. Also, add lemon juice carefully as it can easily overpower the other flavors.

3. Baked Chippy Goodness

I’ve eaten pretty much every baked chip under the sun and not all baked goods are equal. I’ve chosen to include some of my favorites – store-bought and homemade. These are my personal tastes and I do not claim that they taste the same as their full-fat or deep-fried counterparts. I choose baked stuff because I know it is better for me, not because it tastes better than the original. Also, be prepared to pay a little extra for these treats. What you won’t find in this list are products fried in low-fat oils/substitutes. If you wish to try these, do your research first, then form your own opinions. I do, however, cook with low-fat cooking sprays. I fully understand that some people regard these as the anti-christ of the cooking world. If you fall in that category, just get yourself an oil mister/spray bottle and use your favorite oil…sparingly, of course.

Make your own Baked Pita/Tortilla Chips – Whole wheat pita bread or tortillas cut into wedges, a little butter-flavored or olive oil flavored cooking spray, seasoning and baked at low heat for about 20 minutes. Easy, fresh and your guests will think you did a lot of work. Try using flavored flour tortilla shells to have homemade baked tortilla chips.

Tostitos Baked Tortilla chips – There are other brands out there, but none that live up to these little guys. Served out of the bag with your favorite dip or baked into a platter of nachos, these chips stay crisp! Some of the other baked chips out there taste okay when they’re made up as nachos, but they develop a rubbery, chewy texture after being baked again. Not so great.

Baked Lays Chips – These might remind you a little of Pringles sans-excess salt and fat. These even passed the taste test at my office full of deep-fried-eating-no-health-food men. A word of caution to those sensitive to MSG – Lays produces several different baked product lines, including Baked Cheetos and Baked Doritos and some do contain MSG. These are very tasty, but MSG gives me a tummy ache. Just be sure to read the ingredients before purchasing any of the flavored ones. If I recall, the BBQ and plain flavors are safe.

Flavored Mini Rice/Corn Cakes – I find that brand does not matter here, they’re pretty much the same as far as flavors go. Just be sure to read the labels for the cheese flavored ones – some are not as low fat as they might seem.

Kettle Bakes Potato Chips – If you want something that looks like a chip, feels like a chip but isn’t greasy, try these. They are super!

4. “…But what I really want my favorite, homemade [insert name of favorite baked goodie here]!!!”

Okay, okay…quit whining! If you really must have it, who am I to stop you? Before you break out the cookie sheets, loaf pans and muffin tins though, here are a couple of tricks (and their pitfalls) for substituting out sugar and fat in your recipes. Remember, with any substitution, the texture or consistency may be affected and may not be exactly as remembered. Also, I would avoid trying all of the substitutions all at once. Take a more scientific approach and try them one at a time. Ensure that you’re a good little scientist and take notes on how your goodie was different than before so you know what to expect next time you make it.

Cholesterol-free baking

1 whole egg = 2 egg whites

This one is by far the easiest to use or avoid. Yes, I said avoid. This substitution is ideal for pancakes, loaves,muffins, cakes (you get the idea), but not for custards and items depending on the emulsifying power of Mr. Egg Yolk. If you’re unsure it will work, chances are you’re right. An already cholesterol-free cake (usually) is Angel Food, which uses only egg-whites.

Lard/butter = vegetable shortening

Since there is no good source of cholesterol in the plant world, just ask the basic question: Is it animal or vegetable? The latter will always be safe for your cholesterol woes. It does, however, have just as much fat. So, don’t try to pawn your favorite pie off as health food just because you didn’t use butter or lard to make the crust.

Fat-free or reduced fat baking

Quantity of fat = 2 x quantity of applesauce/mashed bananas

If you didn’t get good grades in Math, use this example: 1/2 cup butter = 1 cup applesauce/mashed bananas. I have used the applesauce substitution more frequently than bananas with great success. Remember that applesauce and bananas add moisture to your batter and the end result will be a spongier one. I have made chocolate chip cookies using applesauce and they taste great, but they are softer and more cake-like. Also, if you try to use applesauce in a recipe that uses baking soda, your end result will have a slightly more pronounced baking soda/salty taste.

Dairy
Quantity of sour cream = quantity of fat-free sour cream/yogurt
Quantity of whole milk = quantity of buttermilk or skim milk

This one is pretty self-explanatory. All the taste with much less fat. You do have a choice!

*A word to the wise
I do not recomment the use of low-fat or reduced-fat margarine as an option for baking. The reason is that these generally have a much higher water content and will make baking, well, icky. Example: Have you ever spread some of that on a piece of toast? The end result is a piece of toasted bread that tastes like it’s been misted with buttery water. Gross.

Another one I’d avoid is light peanut-butter for making cookies. They just end up looking and tasting weird and don’t seem to bake properly. If you must have peanut-butter cookies (as one does, from time to time), make a batch of the real thing. Just eat one or two and throw the rest in the freezer. Better yet, throw two cookies in the oven and put the batter in the freezer. Makes it more labor intensive to eat a dozen cookies if you have to thaw the whole bucket of batter!

“Sugar..aw, honey-honey…you are my candy girl…”

If you want to be someone’s Sugar-Momma (or Daddy) without looking like a rotund lollipop, here are a few words about what’s out there.

Sucralose (aka Splenda)

For those of you anti-Splenda folks: move on, you’re in the wrong place – nothing for you to see here.
I love Splenda! This is my choice if I am going to substitute out the real thing. Its granulated texture allows you to go measure-for-measure with little to no error. Some recipes need minor adjustments, however there is a multitude of recipes on the Internet for baking using Splenda.

Honey

Popular amongst many for baking, I have limited experience with using honey as a substitute for granulated sugar. I found a website that does offer the more complicated substitution details, as well as some other baking tips. I have not tried their recommendations, so use your own judgement.

Stevia

It comes from plants, can be purchased in liquid or granulated form and if used too liberally, will give anything a sickly sweet taste. I’ve never tried baking with it other than adding stevia-sweetened chocolate protein powder to pancakes. That did go well, but I ended up using the rest of the protein powder in that way because I couldn’t handle the taste of it on its own as a protein shake.

Fruit Juice, Maple Syrup, etc.

Yes, these do steer you away from what some think is the evil of refined white sugar. Please remember though that sugar is sugar. Fructose, honey and maple syrup are still sugars, just in a different form. If you’re trying to reduce calories, my bet is still on Sucralose. I invite you to form your own opinions and experiment at will.

Ever had that “stop the world – I want to get off!!” feeling? That’s where I’m at right now. Am I dealing with catastrophes of epic proportions? No. Am I ending world hunger? Am I curing horrible diseases? Fighting crime? No, no and no. I am an average girl with a more than average amount of work and activities on her plate.

I feel that all of the social and professional aspects of my life are about to collide tomorrow. What has triggered this feeling? Nothing more than an invitation to dinner with friends. Why is this such a big deal? It’s a big deal because I know I should be taking care of other things tomorrow when I get home from work. We’re about to go out of town for a marathon…my first marathon that I’ve been training for months to get to. Also, I still have an exceptional amount of work to do outside of my full-time job.

My ever-lovin’ man knows how much work I have to do and always runs plans by me before committing to anything. That’s not the problem. The real issue is that I feel like I’m always saying ‘no’ to doing fun stuff. He knew there would be times where my consulting would have to be the primary activity. I am the real problem here. I just hate saying no to him! Half the time I end up with a wishy-washy ‘maybe’. Now, how fair is that to all concerned? Not very. So, once again, I try to put my head down and get to work.

As a side note, I feel that my blogging is unclogging my filter to the point where I am almost feeling productive. That’s not to say that the filter is clean – far from it. Let’s just say that it is functional. I am able to organize my thoughts and get down to writing now.

Gorgeous hair, sensational skin and a satisfied tummy? No, it’s not shampoo or a monster bag of movie popcorn. It’s the wunderkind of all fruits – the Avocado. If you’d like to skip my enlightening comments, I suggest you go straight to the “I eat avos” section of the Australian Avocados website. The link can be found in my Blogroll. Don’t forget to get your beauty recipes while you’re there. There are countless sites that are all about avocados out there, but I found this site to be more fun and interactive than others. (FYI: the last time I popped the word “avocado” into my favorite search engine, it turned up almost 10 million results!) Now, is it really worth my time to write a whole Food for thought segment? You bet your granny-panties and boxer shorts on it!

It’s loaded with fat…

This little guy often has the dark cloud of “fattening” hanging over his head. However, his monounsaturated fat is the kind that will help you lose yours. Satisfying and full of fibre, adding an avocado to your diet will help you steer clear of your favorite greasy snack.

Rock hard Avo? Just go bananas!

Follow the link above for an excellent fruit selection guide. If you don’t believe the bit about cozying your avos up to bananas, let me tell you a little story. Before doing some serious reading on my favorite snack, I had a couple of avocados at home that were too hard to eat. So, I put them next to the bananas in the fruit dish on my counter and didn’t give them another thought for the better part of a week. I grabbed one for a snack one day and noticed how soft it was. The next day, I went to get the other one only to find my little bumpy friend sporting a beard. Now knowing that Mr. Avo goes weak in the knees for Ms. B, I am buying fruit that are very firm so I can soften them at will. They keep in the refrigerator quite well without going soft as fast as when they’re with their yellow-skinned friends.

Mirror, mirror…

These days, there are more beauty products containing some form of the avocado than I could possibly mention. Do you need to buy these products to receive the benefits? No! Just go to the supermarket and buy some avocados and test out a couple of home-spun concoctions…and have a snack at the same time. Again, there are some great tips and recipes on the Australian Avocados website, under “Beauty” (and that’s what you’ll be when you’re finished pampering yourself – a real beauty!).

A word of caution… (a.k.a. Covering my Ass)

Please remember that adventures are always exciting, however, the best adventures are the ones where no one gets hives! If you have never eaten and avocado or used it as a beauty treatment, remember to do a patch/sensitivity test before embarking on a three-day avocado spa binge. Also, if you have any four-legged friends or other pets, please be aware that avocados are toxic to non-humans! (Please see “Toxicity” at the Wiki for Avocados.)

I belong to the most wonderful charitable organization (WCO) on this planet (which shall remain nameless). I’ll sum it up to say that a large percentage of the clubs that belong to the WCO are run by…you guessed it…men. This is not going to be an “all men are scum and are not worth their skin” discussion. This is about the way men choose to use their brains.

Since this WCO is worldwide and there are people from all walks of life who belong, you would think that there would be a bunch of savy people running the show. NOT TRUE! I, thankfully, belong to one of the more open-minded groups that supports women in the membership and understands the need for representation at the upper levels. There are other groups who, sadly are still allowed to continue as if they were in the dark ages.

This behavior has not gone unnoticed. From what I hear, some groups who discourage and turn away women have promptly had their pee-pees slapped for not having any women on the roster. Read this as me commending the “Big Brother” of this WCO for correcting this behavior. But, even Buckley’s has a temporary effect on a bad cough. It is still going on! Some folks in this volunteer base believe that only retired geriatrics have the sense and time to commit fully to a group that requires commitment nothing short of vocation. How wrong they are! Case and point to follow:

As I embarked on a new gainfully employed adventure, I made it clear that I would need flexibility in my work schedule to accomodate my volunteer activities. This company does allow its employees this type of flexibility and my schedule already works to my advantage. I have large blocks of time away from work that fall in nicely with my meetings and activities. I assure you that I am neither retired nor geriatric. I simply have a giving spirit and a dedication to improving our global community. Show people the way to volunteer and I assure you, they will make the time.

Now folks, I’m not talking community service, here. I’m talking about 85% fun activities and 15% onerous tasks for the average member. These folks raise an unbelievable amount of money locally and it gets distributed globally. Who doesn’t want to help save part of the world? (If you just answered “I don’t”, it’s time for you to leave and go crawl back under your nice, cold rock.) So I ask, why should the men have all the fun and glory?

There appears to be a movement amongst the women of this WCO. Hopefully it will prompt some of the closed-minded geriatric men into having a cerebral bowel movement. In other words, “Hey old guy!! Clean the crap out of your ears and listen to the skirts!” We are all civilized and no one is threatening to become militant about the treatment of women at the WCO. The sexist “you birth babies, therefore you are unable to do what should be left to the men folk” attitude must be changed. C-h-a-n-g-e…look it up.